Playing with the thoughts in my mind for a very long time, just going out as my female self. Last year I was planning to do so, like going in to town in the cover of darkness on the streets and wearing a mask because of the pandemic, that’s when the government decided to go in lockdown and stores wouldn’t be open after 6pm.
Now playing with the thoughts again, for weeks… I WANT IT SO BAD, but I’m a scared little bird… Now I write this on Wednesday 15 December 2021, last Sunday I figured I would going to do it on Monday, well not, had to do other things first 🙁 So….. I figured, tomorrow Tuesday would be fine also…. I had some sleep in the afternoon because I have been up early, and thought “ok have to do this”…. But as always, maybe tomorrow… I was disappointed so much, disappointed by myself for canceling again, sad for exiting and looking for excuses to not to do the thing I so desperate wanting, just being me…
That was just the little push I needed, the “I kick myself on my bud” thing… Doing a clean shave, make-up, clothing and of I went, just doing groceries as me, as the woman I am…. O yess there where people looking, but I would have looked to a female with the length like me, just where do these legs end????
Yes it have been a success, 14th December 2021 is going to be remembered as the first time, solo, and fem in public…
It feels so damn good.
